Q: The kids have a hard time every morning when I come to work and the mom leaves for work. What can I do to make this easier?
A: Nannies have to transition children not only from activity to activity but also between mom and dad to nanny. These transitions are very tough especially for younger children who have a hard time going from one structure to another.
THE FACTS:
WHAT CAN WE DO:
FOR MORE INFO:
Child Care Aware article
Helping Children Transition between Activities
Do you have a link to a site with great info and ideas?? Email us at suedowney@nannypalooza.com
A: Nannies have to transition children not only from activity to activity but also between mom and dad to nanny. These transitions are very tough especially for younger children who have a hard time going from one structure to another.
THE FACTS:
- Transitions are stressful. Children crave repetition and structure. Transitions upset the status quo.
- Transitions are more difficult when child is already compromised in some way, i.e. if the child is hungry, tired or sick.
- There may be other issues at play such as separation anxiety.
- Emotions from the adults at play can be felt by children even they are not expressed. Moms/Dads may feel guilty leaving for work or anxious about their day ahead. They may be jealous that a child is happy to see a nanny or sad to see the nanny leave. These feelings can affect the transition period.
WHAT CAN WE DO:
- Make sure to communicate with your family about transitions. Have a plan. Decide when and how info will pass between you and parents (info on feedings, activities, etc can be in a journal, talked about, emailed etc...)
- Give clues and prepare child. Younger children can’t always tell time, but older ones can. Telling a child “mom will be home soon- in 15 minutes” can give them time to prepare mentally for the changes.
- Empower the child. Often older children feel powerless in these situations and that is difficult. Ask the child “mom is coming home in 30 minutes, what shall we do until she gets here?”
- Develop rituals. Have mom/dad say goodbye every day in a special way (a phrase or special handshake) and develop one for the nanny’s goodbye as well.
- Develop routines. Make sure to use routines as signals for child. At the end of your workday choose a task or activity that you can do everyday. For instance, cleaning up the toys each day at 5:00 and then coloring until dad gets home can be comforting for a child. They know cleaning up is a signal that the day with nanny will be ending.
- Role play the situation. This is especially good with preschoolers. You can act out good bye scenes when playing house or use puppets.
- Try to de-stress the environment. Use soft music, soft lights, increased touch and steady, calm voices to make things relaxed.
- Be quick- especially if child is struggling. It is better to go quickly than to draw out a good bye. Be firm, if you say you are leaving in 5 minutes then leave in that time or else tomorrow the child will learn you do not mean what you say and problems will increase.
- Use distraction. Involve the child in an activity that takes their concentration. Tummy time with some toys, a puzzle that they can work independently in another room, what ever may be age appropriate.
FOR MORE INFO:
Child Care Aware article
Helping Children Transition between Activities
Do you have a link to a site with great info and ideas?? Email us at suedowney@nannypalooza.com