Nope this is not a book report. This is a true story.
I woke up in the morning with hairy legs and when I was shaving I cut myself and I didn't have any cheerios for breakfast and the line for coffee was out the door. I knew it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
I got to work early but the trash truck was blocking the driveway so I had to park on the street next to the bushes that are very uncomfortable when I have to stand next to them to buckle in my kids. The neighbor lady yelled at me for parking on the street and I spilled coffee on my shirt. I might move to Australia.
When I walked in the door all I could hear was a wail. I hate wailing. It turned into a whine. The only thing I hate more than a wail is a whine. When I tried to brush the 4 year olds hair she cried. When I gave her Lucky Charms for breakfast she ate all the marshmallows and then she cried. When I brushed her teeth and wiped her face she yelled at me that I wiped off her "lipstick" and she would not go to school. I wonder if they need nannies in Australia?
I had to carry her to the car and leave for school on time because I had a doctor appointment but she didn't care. The neighbors cared when she screamed louder than a Texas cheerleader that I was smunching her. I was smashing her. I was the worst nanny ever and all she wanted was her lipstick. I knew it would end up on YouTube. It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
When I was done at the doctor I went home to take care of the baby. He's only 6 weeks old but he thinks he doesn't have to sleep. Unless of course you hold him and rock him while you stand up and sing to him. I am sure the babies in Australia sleep.
The only thing for lunch was salad and I hate salad.
The only music in the car was Frozen and I am sick of Frozen.
There was laundry in the washer and dishes in the sink.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day.
After nap time, my 4 year old cried about her snack so I hugged her and said-
"Honey, it has been a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day."
She said to me-
"Yeah, some days are like that."
Good thing I didn't move to Australia!